Breaking the Silence & Supporting Survivors & Ending Sexual Violence | RAINN & Podcasthon

This episode focuses on supporting RAINN, the largest anti sexual violence organization

>> Tiffanie: Sa Hey guys and welcome. Welcome back to True Crime Connections. I am Tiffanie, your host and today's episode is a special episode because I'm doing podcast a thon. This is an incredible event that brings together over a thousand podcasters. A ah thousand. We're all shining a light on different charities that are changing lives. For this episode, I've chosen to support rainn. The Rape, Abuse and Incest national network is the largest anti sexual violence organization in the U.S. they run the National Sexual Assault hotline and work tirelessly to help survivors prevent abuse and to bring perpetrators to justice. This conversation might be heavy, but it is also so important because knowledge is power and together we can make a difference. So let's get into it. What does RAINN do? Well, they've been around for 30 years, and in that 30 years, they have helped 4.5 million survivors and their loved ones. RAINN is committed to supporting survivors of sexual violence, cultivating communities of antisexual violence activism, and promoting policies that deliver justice. Since July 27 in 1994, Reen has answered the call on the National Sexual Assault hotline and supported 5 million survivors and their loved ones. Also, they partnership with more than a thousand local sexual assault service providers across the country.


Learning the warning signs of child sexual abuse is important to protecting your child

Did you know that every 68 seconds an American is sexually assaulted? And every nine minutes that victim is a child? Meanwhile, only 25 out of every 1,000 perpetrators will end up behind bars. This is why learning the warning signs of child sexual abuse is so important. It's actually like the first step to help protecting your child. So what are some of the warning signs you say? Well, if we're dealing with a teen, some of the warning signs that a teen has been sexually assaulted or abused can easily blend in with the everyday struggles teens face. And as they learn how to relate to their bodies, peers and environments, if something doesn't seem right, trust your instincts. I know teens can be awfully moody. I have one of those. And, it can be kind of hard sometimes to read between the lines. But it's better to ask and be wrong than to let your teen struggle with the effects of the sexual assault. Don't forget, this is something that will last for their entire life. And if you are a perpetrator, let me say that again, this is something that will last for their entire life. You want to make sure that your teen feels comfortable to come to you, that you're going to believe them and that if something happened, it's not their fault. It doesn't matter what they wore. It doesn't matter who they were with, no means no. And if somebody crosses that boundary, they need to be held accountable for it. If you notice the following warning signs in a teen, it's worth reaching out to them. Unusual weight gain or weight loss. Unhealthy eating patterns. Are they not eating at all or is that all they want to do is eat? Do they have bruises? Do they seem like they're depressed? They just, they always look sad, they have no energy for anything, they're not sleeping or they don't even want to hang out with their friends. They don't like doing the activities that they used to love to do. Do they seem like they're always anxious or worrying about something? Do their grades start falling out of nowhere? Like did you Normally have an AB student and now everything is DNFs? What about changes in their self care? Like how is their hygiene, their appearance? Are they not showering? Do they not care anymore? Are they not brushing their teeth? These are things that we need to make sure our children are doing. And especially by the time they're a teenager, they should know that these things are important. make sure you're also paying attention to make sure there's no self harming behavior. Are you seeing patches of hair loss? What about it looks like they've been cutting or punching themselves? What if your teen has never done drugs, never drank, and now you are having a serious problem on your hands? These are all signs that your teen may either be in an abusive relationship or might have been sexually assaulted. Teenagers who are new to dating, sometimes they don't understand what is normal and what is not. And as, somebody outside the relationship, you have the potential to notice warning signs as they're trying to have sex when they're not ready, they refuse to use condoms or contraception if they're being harmed in any way, physically, emotionally, mentally. If you notice that they have no time for family, no time for friends, literally it's this person, this person has taken over their entire life that is controlling behavior. Or if they're being forced to use drugs and alcohol to help create the situations where their judgment is impaired and maybe they don't have the ability to say yes or no.


It's not always easy to spot sexual abuse in children either

Now when we get into the children, it's not always easy to spot sexual abuse in children either. Perpetrators often take steps to hide their actions. You should always talk to your child. Obviously asking a young child if they have been touched where they should not be is an uncomfortable situation. Some things that you can look out for are signs of Trauma to the genital area is there unexpected bleeding, bruising or blood on the sheets, on their clothing. If all of a sudden they start talking about sexual topics and like become obsessed about sex? What if it seems like they're keeping secrets, they don't talk as much as they used to, or not wanting to be left alone with certain people. This is a big one and people really need to focus. If when you go to drop your child off with a certain person and that child starts freaking out and does not want to go, do not make your child go with that person. There is a reason why they might even regress back to behaviors that they had already outgrown. Like now they're sucking their thumb again or they're wetting the bed. What if your child was very outgoing and now literally just want to be alone? Lots of alone time. And if your child is trying to avoid taking a bath, getting undressed in front of you, there's probably a reason for it. Nightmares or fear, being alone at night. Even young children can do self harming behaviors. Children who have unexplained health problems such as stomach aches, headaches, like all the time. If every day there's some kind of ailment, you might want to start paying attention to see if there's any other clues kind of going along with that one. Same thing with excessive worry or fearfulness. If there's a decrease in their confidence or self image, all of a sudden they want to wear baggy stuff, they want to wear crazy stuff that's not normal, there could be a reason for it. I think the scariest statistic that I heard is that 93% of children who are sexually assaulted are assaulted by someone they know. That is so frightening on so many different levels. I mean this includes their own family members, church communities, coaches, teachers. Be cautious of anyone who wants to spend time with your child. Do they respect the boundaries or listen when your child tells them no to things? Do they touch your child inappropriately and or has your child said that they make them uncomfortable? Sometimes they're being groomed. What if this person is trying to be your child's best friend? That way they can mold them into the person they want them to be. Any grown up that talks with children about their personal problems or relationships or they don't seem to have age appropriate relationships, that's a red flag. Anyone who gives your child gifts without an occasion or a reason, they spend a lot of time with your child, they restrict your child's access to other adults, or they spend a Lot of alone time with your child and makes up excuses to be alone with them. Sexual abuse can happen at any age. What about when we're away at college? It happens there too. Some warning signs, if you have a college aged adult that's starting to seem depressed, you know, kind of same thing. Lack of energy, lack of sleep, withdrawing from normal activities, self harming behavior, low self esteem, if they say they got an std. Anxiety or worry about situations that didn't really seem to bother them in the past. Avoiding specific situations or places, their grades plummet and they start or increase drug and alcohol use. As you know, we get older, we have so many different ways that we can be targeted and nowadays it can also be through technology. We have so many apps now that take photos, videos, they can hack into things, they can track you. There are so many threats out there and they can help engage in harassing, unsolicited or non consensual sexual interactions. This can lead the person on the other end feeling manipulated, unsafe and exposed. We have to make sure that our children realize you might be dating this person, but by you sending them photos, you don't know what's going to happen later on down the line. Is this person vindictive? Are they going to do revenge porn? The laws pertaining to these situations vary from state to state, but they are evolving rapidly. You can look up different states and see what the different laws are, especially about technology and all of that. Make sure when you reach out to your teen, say if they are in college and it doesn't sound like they're the ones responding, make a mental note, try to kind of keep track of that because their partner may be the one that is controlling all of their communication. Make sure there's no visible signs of physical abuse. There's no bruises, there's no black eyes. Rain has so many different programs and ways to help families, teenagers, children, everyone learn about the warning signs, the risks. I mean, unfortunately we still have to live our lives. You cannot live in fear, but you can be prepared if you need help. And you go to their website. Not only do they have Iris who is a chatbot who can talk to you right then and there, you're able to message them on WhatsApp. They also have a RAINN mobile app. They show where there's laws in your state, from the legal definition of rape to the statute of limitations for particular sex crimes, where you live makes a difference. So they do have a guide to the laws in your state. It's a whole map actually. No, I think I'M lying. It's all listed in like bullets. so you would click on where you live and all of the laws will pop up. If you want to help make a difference, of course there are many ways to do that. You can volunteer. Even if you have five minutes, five days, or five months, there's a path for you to make a difference in the lives of survivors of sexual violence. No matter how you choose to get involved, know that every bit counts. More than 87 cents of every dollar goes to helping survivors and preventing sexual violence. That is amazing. I don't know of any other organization gives so much to every donation. They offer words of hope. They encourage survivors to listen, to be heard, to feel seen and to feel believed. That is the most important thing in these situations. They have to feel that. They also have the National Sexual Assault Hotline 1-800-656-HOPE H O P E. Their website is rain r a I n n.org that pretty much wraps up this week's special episode for Podcast A Thon. If today's conversation spoke to you, or if you or someone you know needs help, Rain is here and so is True Crime Connections. I will do my best to help whoever I can. Seriously, if you want to explore more charities that are also making an impact for Podcast Thon, you can head over to www.podcastthon c-a s t h o n.org and check out the incredible work being highlighted by podcasters worldwide. And as always, if this episode resonated with you, please share it. Leave a Review let's keep this conversation going. You are not alone. You matter. I love you guys. And until next time, please stay safe and take care. Together we stand tall. Together we can bring change.